The New Age of Blogging?

So I've been video blogging recently.. I treat it the same way as I do blogging pretty much, lol, so there's not much of a difference. I just uploaded my first vlog in like almost three weeks a few days ago.

I helped Mama-bear out a few weeks ago with her vlogging, which is what really turned me onto it. It's fun to talk to the camera about nothing and everything. Lol. I always start of with nothing in mind, but end up with like fifteen minutes of crap to cut up and cut down. Lol, ten mnutes is sometimes just not enough. Lol.




I talked to Daddy about the Whoinspiresyou.ca contest and he said I could use his camera.. but I need to buy special batteries, and I'm not sure if the computer can handle the video. Lol. Maybe I'll just use my own lol...

Hmm... still thinking of ideas for it though, like how to make everything fit into three minutes.. and how to go over everything as quickly without losing the impact I need. And what kind of clips, and angles and everything like that... ungh...



Oh Yeah, don't forget to check out the Child Abuse Awareness Event 2009 photos!!



Hearts and kisses!!! xo

A Hopeful Chance

So I am finally home.. the second night... and I'm seriously thinking of moving with Carleen in August... She's in need of a room mate and asked me, I think jokingly, but I've been seriously thinking about it for the last couple of days... And its a really good deal...

I really dont want to work at tim hortons.. it's driving me nuts.. I dont want to do it at all..

whoinspiresu.ca has started up another contest round. You make a video about who inspires you and why and what you'd like to do or be, and it's for $10,000 to go towards becoming what you want to be...

I want to enter.. I would use the money to get into a studio and make myself some actual good demos that are worthy enough to send out, and sell so I can get out there with theSadieproject. Ideas are flowing now.. i missed out last time cause I had the abuse awareness event to worry about.. so hopefully i can get this going and find myself a way to get out there with my music..

Too Much to Hold Onto

I have to go to work in like an hour.. my second shift. I got to work with one of my step-sisters lastnight so it wasnt bad at all.. but tonight she is not working..

My anxiety is off the wall.. Rob is going to meet me downtown and walk with me to work.. I"m like freaking out.. I need a smoke.. ungh.. I dont want to work. I had the ultimate worse sleep in my entire life.. I feel like I didn't sleep at all... which is not good.. I should probably have some coffee right now...

I don't want to go... I really dont.. I have to go to the store..

Not much of an update, Just a "Pity Me" post

So, I'm starting work at my step-mom's store, and it's the nightshift, like my last job. So tonight I am trying my best to stay up as late as I can so I can get enough sleep tomorrow before work. It's from 10-6, but gaaaah.. I hate working the night shift.. it's all sleeping and working that's about it. And it's so far away from my house.

I live way out in the east end, and the store is like right down town. I might have to stay at Rob's the days I have to work... ungh.. I'm never gonna get to go home, am I?

I kind if wish i had a boyfriend... I mean, like a month ago, I decided i didn't want a boyfriend yet, or anytime soon.. but I sit here, alone.. feeling lonely..
It's almost unbearable at some moments.. to be lonely. And it really doesn't help that I like to listen to slow songs that sing about either sappiness, or have that "Come back to me" sound, or stuff like that. It's just so depressing to think especially, tha I'm sitting here, still alone and my ex has gone BACK to the girl who cheated on him... but I am alone... He has someone, my brother and sister have someone, my dad and step-mum just celebrated their first year anniversary.. my mum practically lives with her boyfriend...
It sucks... I am alone.. I dont even have my cat cause I can never get home long enough for him to even cuddle with me...

I feel like a bag of crap... this is what sitting by myself, late at night does to someone who suffers from depression.. Makes them feel like the deepest, biggest bag of shit on the planet... I hate me sometimes.. I need a smoke.. but have none... ungh...

An Update

So our internet is finally back. I'm not at home though. Lol. Im staying at a friend's right now, then I start work at my step-mother's store on friday.. hopefully things will work out for the summer...

Ashley's wedding is fastly appraoching, June 6th.. >.<

Our Awareness Event for Child Abuse Awareness Month, which was April, was a success!! We started a bit late, but we got to help a few people out. Hopefully, next year, it will be much a much bigger turn out.

This October, me and Mama-Bear are possibly planning a walk-a-thon for Child Abuse Prevention month. Something like walking from bayfront to City Hall...

I was thinking of something like from City Hall to Gage Park, where when we get to Gage Park, we could have some water and enjoy some music. Maybe have a couple local bands or artists perform for abut an hour or two. Sounds good. But Mama-Bear's the one who is mostly organizing it I think. She's the driving force for it mostly. Lol. I'm available to whatever she needs me for..

I think this is something we'll be doing for the rest of our lives, or at least this is something I will be doing for the rest of my life. having these awareness events, bringing all the attention to the issuse of childhood abuse, and some kind of hope to survivors of sexual abuse, that you too can be alright in time.. for a little while at least. That they are not alone in their journey to heling from abuse.

I hope that I can do this.. for a long time at least.. ooh, you know what, remember Sarah McLachlan had that tour for women, with just women performers? How about a tour for Abuse Survivors, with only survivors of abuse performing? Haha, I'm so creative... I have all these great ideas, just not the right resources to bring them to fruitation.. who would you talk to about stuff like that? I guess I'd have to find a manager and make an album first huh? Lol.

<3